


As Fate Would Have It

by Liyyah



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 08:44:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13454631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liyyah/pseuds/Liyyah
Summary: It’s been weeks since Donna kissed Harvey and their relationship slipped through their fingers. One night he decides that he’s had enough and makes up his mind to fix things between them. But before he can say a word, a phone call from the hospital rocks his world.





	As Fate Would Have It

**Author's Note:**

> I was sent a pretty specific prompt on tumblr and this is the result.

Donna’s nails were painted a dark shade of red. Like blood. Like heartbreak.

It was all Harvey focused on as he tried to keep breathing. Because if his attention faltered for even the briefest of moments he would be hit by the coldness of her hand along with how frail she looked lying in that hospital bed and he would shatter all over again.

So he stared at their fingers entwined together, the feeling familiar even though they never touched each other, not anymore.

_It was like coming home._

“Donna,” he whispered, a plea falling from his tongue.

_Come back._

The doctors had said that she was okay and would regain consciousness the next day but the fear of her being ripped away from him clung to Harvey like a nightmare because it _was_.

He leaned back in his chair, weariness weighing him down.

Everything had been a whirlwind since Donna kissed him.

_No, even before that._

Jessica left and Donna took his hand in hers and his heart woke up again. Then she was telling him she wanted _something more_ and the look in her eyes frightened him so like a fool he ran.

But truth be told he had been running for years. He didn’t know how to stop.

Yet when she told him that his relationship with Paula bothered him something rose within him but he tampered it down and kept going.

Until the night that she kissed him. Because for those few seconds, his world stood still.

However he found himself running again, although this time he was chasing after her. But the wrong words came out of his mouth when he faced her as all of the demons resembling his mother quickly sunk their claws into him. And so knives were thrown from both sides, slicing their skin while anger set fire to their veins. It wasn’t long before everything they were burned to the ground with each of their hearts lost in the rubble.

And he continued to run.

He avoided Paula as long as he could, ignoring her calls while he tried to figure out how to tell her. But then she showed up at his place with the key he had given her, _Donna’s key,_ and a part of him knew this was the end.

It all came spilling out of him, a confession peppered with apologies because she didn’t deserve any of it.

_She deserved someone who truly loved her. And that wasn’t him._

With steel in her voice she told him he needed to choose. It was her or Donna.

But for Harvey it had never been a choice.

_Think about what your life would be like without her._

Standing in the middle of the room, he couldn’t help but recall Jessica’s words from ages ago.

So he made the decision he should have from the very start.

And watched Paula walk away.

But things between him and Donna were still a mess because he didn’t know how to fix it. He didn’t know what to say. Besides, deep down he couldn’t shake the sense of betrayal he felt at the fact that she kissed him while he was with someone else. All of his issues surrounding infidelity festered inside him.

And above all, he was still afraid.

Thus they became nothing but silence and pain. He was a ghost roaming the halls of the newly christened Specter Litt and even with the walls she built around herself, he could tell she wasn’t far behind.

It was the night before when he came home late and filled with exhaustion that he finally snapped.

The full force of how much he missed her threatened to knock him over.

He was _tired_.

Donna was one of the few things that made getting up in the morning worth it and she was slipping through his fingers. He couldn’t let that happen.

So for the second time he made a decision that he should have long ago.

_He was going to risk it all._

Most of his morning had been spent pondering on the right words but none of them were enough. Harvey had spent more than a decade burying his feelings and now that he had the chance to tell her everything, he was at a loss. He also didn’t think that anything he said would make up for the fact that he had been a complete ass.

_But he needed to try dammit._

He had been so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even know that Donna left the firm to pick up lunch for her and Rachel. So when he got that goddamn phone call all he felt for a second was confusion.

Nothing the woman on the other end was saying made sense.

_Donna was right there in her office next to his._

But then she kept talking and the floor fell away beneath his feet. His throat closed up as his body tried to catch up to his brain which was spinning out of control. Everything was a blur as his heart thundered against his rib cage, echoing in his ears.

He had been standing in the middle of the room, ready to walk out the door for a meeting with Louis and he must have been a sight to behold as he crumbled because Mike came rushing in, worry etched on his features.

 _Donna’s been in an accident_ he found himself uttering, the sentence tasting strange in his mouth.

And then he was moving, Mike’s hand on his arm as the earth continued to fall to pieces. Rachel and Louis seemed to appear out of nowhere and then they were all piling in a cab all while he struggled to breathe.

They arrived at the hospital only to be told that she was in surgery and so there was nothing they could do but wait. Harvey had been vaguely aware of Rachel calling Donna’s parents and he was silently grateful. He had been rendered useless, unable to remember how to simply speak.

Nervousness radiated off all four of them as they sat in the waiting room. They all loved her.

But for Harvey it was different.

 _She_ was different.

With his head in his hands he prayed to whatever god would listen to him, begging to just let her be alright.

An eternity had passed before a woman dressed in scrubs told them that she was fine. For the first time since this ordeal began, the tightness around his chest eased a little. But his hands were still shaking as they all made their way to her room.

And as he looked at her, pale and so _small_ in that bed his throat closed up again. He leaned against the doorframe, steadying himself as he tried to hold it together. With every step he took towards her, he broke over and over again.

He sunk into the chair next to the bed as his legs gave out, bleeding out all over his suit. A hand gently squeezed his shoulder but he didn’t know who it was. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from her. He wasn’t even sure when everyone else had left, automatically mumbling promises to call when she woke up.

Even now, his phone occasionally buzzed in his pocket from a message checking in on the both of them. He wished he had the energy to reply.

He tenderly stroked the back of her hand with his thumb as he struggled not to drift off.

Suddenly, her eyes fluttered. Cold water washed over him and he jolted, his heart racing as he held his breath.

Donna barely opened her eyes, drowsiness blanketing her as she looked around the room.

“Where are we?” she mumbled sleepily, disorientated from whatever they had given her.

“We’re in the hospital,” he explained softly. “You were in an accident.”

She didn’t appear to notice that her hand was in his.

“But why are you here?” she asked, staring at him.

“I’m here because you are.”

A small frown took up residence on her face.

“But you don’t care about me anymore.”

His heart was impaled on the jagged edges of her words, the sadness in her eyes almost drowning him.

“Why don’t you love me the way I love you?” she murmured.

His voice had deserted him, leaving when he needed it the most. His own eyes burned as he chocked on the noose around his neck. The sound of his destruction was defending but he was the only one who could hear the screams within him.

Otherwise, silence reigned in the room.

Her eyes closed again as sleep stole her away once more when she stopped waiting for an answer.

“I do,” he eventually whispered.

But she didn’t hear him.

  
When Donna woke up the next day, she seemed to have a better grip on her surroundings.

Her eyes opened fully and she quickly pulled her hand away from Harvey’s. He tried to ignore how much that stung.

She tried to sit up but winced.

“Take it easy,” he warned instantly, panic threatening to rise within him at the flash of pain on her features.

With a sigh, she lay back down.

“How are you feeling?” he asked softly.

He wondered if she remembered anything from earlier.

“My leg’s broken. I’ve been better,” she said drily.

She stared at everything in the room but him, unable to meet his gaze. But he still spotted her confused expression over the fact that of all people, _he_ was the one who was here.

“What time is it?” she inquired.

“Around eleven,” he replied, looking at his watch.

He hadn’t realized it was so late. Time suspended for him the moment he heard Donna was in the hospital.

Donna’s eyes widened as she finally stared at him.

“What are you doing _here_? You should be at work, the firm-”

“The firm is fine,” he quickly reassured.

Although the truth was that it could have burned to the ground in the last few hours and he wouldn’t have known. But he wasn’t about to tell that to Donna.

“The managing partner and COO are both missing,” she said with a glare, clearly displeased at being interrupted.

“Louis can handle it,” he said calmly. “Besides he has help from Alex, Rachel and Mike. I think they’re all capable enough of making sure everything’s okay for a while.”

She relented, choosing not to argue further.

“But why _are_ you here?” she couldn’t help but ask for a second time, chewing on her lip as she appeared to debate whether or not she really wanted an answer.

“I wasn’t going to let you wake up alone,” he said quietly.

He had made enough mistakes already. He wasn’t going to add another one to the list.

Donna’s expression softened and she looked away, carefully guarding her heart.

“Did you stay here all night?” she asked, examining the sheets as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world.

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” she sighed, sparing him a glance.

“I wanted to,” he said firmly.

A pause followed where she continued to avoid his gaze and he mulled over what to say next. He wanted to tell her everything.

_He had waited long enough._

“Donna-” he began.

“Harvey don’t,” she cut him off. “I don’t want you to say something you’ll regret later.”

Harvey thought that his heart couldn’t possibly break any more but he was proven wrong.

“I decided that I wanted to fix things between us before you got in the accident,” he told her. “I was actually planning to tell you yesterday. But then we ended up here before I could.”

She looked up at him then, a flicker of hope warring with the doubt in her eyes.

“When Paula and I broke up, she told me that I needed to choose. You or her,” he said. He determined that this was as good a place to start as any. “I chose you. Because it was never really a choice in the first place.”

Surprise danced across her face.

“But I’m not...the most emotionally healthy person,” he admitted. “And suddenly I had to deal with these feelings that I’ve been suppressing for years and all of the issues I have with my mom. So I shut you out. I’m sorry.”

“You should be,” she said.

“I was an ass.”

“You were.”

Those two syllables were made of iron but her voice wavered.

“You once told me that I was too afraid to risk anything,” he said, the memory echoing in his heart. “You were right. I’m not...good at this. And I thought that if we were anything more I’d screw it up and lose you. And I _couldn’t_ lose you. But then I ended up losing you anyway.”

“You didn’t,” she whispered.

Hope soared within him.

“I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I’m risking everything because _you’re_ everything. And I want to try to be your something more because you’re mine. I want _us_ to try.”

The entire earth was holding its breath as he spoke.

“I love you Donna,” he declared.

_Love me how?_

The question from centuries ago slapped him in the face.

“More than anything,” he added. “I’m _in_ love with you.”

“Do you mean it?” she asked with a hint of fear.

Harvey’s guilt was a blade that pierced him in his very soul.

“I do,” he answered with complete sincerity.

This time she heard him.

“Good,” she said. “Because I love you too.”

The remaining clouds parted in his chest as flowers bloomed in his veins and winter ended within him.

Donna stretched her arm out towards him and he laced his fingers through hers once more, sparks ablaze on his skin. Gently, she tugged him closer and Harvey leaned in, pressing his lips tenderly against hers.

All of the wonders on the planet couldn’t compare to this. This was the reason for his existence. To live and die and fall in love with this woman, to lose himself in all that she was. Harvey tasted all of his dreams on her tongue. He was drunk on her very essence.

He pulled away, wide eyed and wondrous as if he had just been awoken from a long slumber.

“My lips are so dry,” Donna said with a grimace. “Sorry for that.”

Harvey let out a laugh, bursting with blinding adoration.

“That was perfect,” he murmured. “You’re always perfect.”

“Even like this?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Even like this.”

The smile that decorated her face was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

And so, Harvey finally stopped running.

In the midst of all the chaos in their lives, they both stole a moment of peace, reveling in each other. In a little hospital room, they found home again.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote half of this while sick and feeling awful and a little drowsy from the meds I took so if it’s a bit of mess well that’s my excuse lol. Thanks for reading though!


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